Seeing You

Who sees you? You. Your essence. Your truth. I was reminded of being seen’s power during a recent exchange with my daughter.  She was introduced to being seen – only to have it taken away from her. Abruptly. Unexpectedly. The before and after contrast made me think about our last blog, A New Twist on Being Seen, and our willingness to let others see us.  Tell me, does anyone see you?

My teenage daughter lost a friend and colleague suddenly three weeks ago. Very unexpectedly her wonderful vibrant math club coach died. He had been her teacher in the club for four years. She’d worked with him for another two years as a teacher’s assistant. He was beloved, a beautiful man who spearheaded weekly club sessions in the basement of a local church.

From my perch, he was an engineer and a bit of an eccentric who created a community. Beautifully. Effortlessly. If you have ever tried to create a community – you know what a gift he gave to all of us.

In his community, the members weren’t seen as ‘nerds’ or something ‘other.’ These students were celebrated and respected for who they were. Everyone in his space shared a love and a fascination for math. Most importantly, he did something magical for every member of that community. He saw them.

Thanks to him I saw up close and personal the amplifying power of being seen. You see, in addition to a safe environment where my daughter could explore something that interested her,  he gave her another even more meaningful gift. He helped her catch a glimpse of the incredible power that resides within her.  Transition has taught me that our power is an energy that can emerge only when we are willing to lead with who we are.

“He’s gone.” She said simply as we pulled into our driveway after attending the funeral. There was a wobble in her voice. I saw it. More importantly, I could feel it.  How can I convince her that the power – her power – she first glimpsed in that community is still there. Waiting to be fostered.  Waiting for her to choose. After all, she has a choice to make. Will she choose to be seen?

Who sees you?

When I ask myself that question I get a surprising answer. I spent decades in jobs where I believed to my core that I was visible. Seen. Now I wonder about how fully seen I really was? Were those jobs somehow a little detached from the entirety of who I am?  I was a tech company CEO, a Fortune 500 corporate executive, and a Board member for organizations big and small. While my voice was present in every one of those roles – I now see that I held back some of me. My partial self was sufficient and busy and recognized. Dare I say that I got mixed signals? I was awarded for not showing up entirely.

Even amidst the kudos for my roles, there was a real gap between my partial self and what I now recognize as fully-me. That gap grew overtime. Could that gap possibly be the reason I found transition?  I didn’t have the words then to describe it, but something was disconnected.  Something unnamed. Something important.

Now – thanks to transition – I am very willing to be seen.  It’s allowed me to discover a generosity of spirit that I overlooked for too long. It is a part of me that sat outside of my day-to-day context for years. It was waiting to be asked to come forward.  Yet, no one other than me knew enough to go looking for it. Only I knew it was missing. Yes, I was visible and active and oddly-enough partial.

Do you know how it feels to be seen? If my daughter’s experience is any indication – it is affirming and enlivening and empowering.

This Thanksgiving I hope you make an important choice. To be seen.  Fully, beautifully, honestly.  In whatever expression makes sense for you. I also hope you take the time to see someone else.

May the courage to be seen envelop you and may you recognize the incalculable value that your very presence offers the world.

Warmest wishes for a safe and happy Thanksgiving!                                                Linda R. (linda@WomenAndTransition.com)

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Do you have a minute for more?  Re-read some of our legacy Thanksgiving Posts! The earliest dates back to 2011.

Turkeys Take Over Our Climbing Structure

2017:  Thanksgiving Survival Guide

2014: Walking with Thanks

2011: Her Place at the Table (including recipe for Bourbon Sweet Potatoes!)

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Copyright © 2019 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

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