A different lens

For those dying to know..my son’s team lost their play-in game 3-2 in the 11th inning last weekend (Resilience, 6/14/2014).   A real nail biter.  Despite the loss the season was a great experience for him.  Positive.  Challenging.  Engaging.  In fact, I’ve been noodling what a group of nine-year olds and their undying optimism might contribute to transition.   Any guesses?


A great attitude perhaps?  No fear of failing?  Boundless energy?  Another experience I had last week brought a different lens to it for me.

“It’s very hard to keep energy to maintain the right mindset,” shared a woman at  a luncheon I was facilitating.  She’d recently been fired from more than a decade of service in the technology industry.   The event was still raw in her mind.  She was sad.  Angry.  Exposed.

It wasn’t helping that colleagues were still calling to say, “I can’t believe you were let go….”  In a more lucid moment she offered, “I refused to play the games.  I know that’s why I lost my job.”

It wasn’t until later in the conversation that I began listening in a different way.  The conversation had turned to the challenges of securing a new job as an experienced contributor – particularly in light of the online job search process.  Each woman found herself responding to jobs that were a step back from her prior role’s scope.

Most were targeting specific companies.  Many were networking to try to get a handle on upcoming opportunities.  Most had had the experience of being ‘late’  to a job posting because it had been pre-wired for someone internally even prior to being visible to ‘outsiders.’

I offered an idea on how to network another way.  I suggested that the ladies try a thought leader approach to finding the right ‘job.’  Puzzled looks all around…

This approach requires that you initiate a conversation about something for which you are the expert.

Create a draft of a new asset- a white paper or an outline for a talk to an industry association.   Sound difficult?  It isn’t.   Think about an angle that you – and you alone – would have given your prior experience and your interests regarding where you hope to land.

What then?  Outreach to a few people and ask if they’d be willing to provide feedback or offer a fresh perspective.

Why is this important?  The evolving asset is really a showcase of the value add that you might contribute to an organization.    It will lead in unforeseen directions and value add conversations….guaranteed.

Here’s is where I started listening differently…..

“I like it.  It’s a peer conversation,” shared one woman who finally smiled. Immediately the room got lighter.    Everyone breathed.   This thought leader option seemed to offer an approach that rebalanced an uncomfortable situation for these ladies.   Finally an approach that catapulted these women over, around or through transition’s real emotions like inadequacy, shame, guilt, and fear.

A dozen players tried their hearts out last weekend.  They lost but really they won.

Imagine what might be possible should you be willing to re-balance transition’s gripping emotions.   If you’re anything like my nine year old friends you can’t help but win….

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