Tag Archives: divorce

Do we pay lip service to failure?

Do you have the courage to fail? Massachusetts Senator Cindy Friedman and I talk about this question on the most recent episode of Destination Unknown, my podcast that explores transition and its expression in our lives. Let’s face it, a lot of the dialogue in our society revolves around failure and what I would term as a false embrace of it. Did you know that transition offers a courageous new lens into failure? Don’t miss this 10-minute discussion during which Senator Friedman talks about some of life’s most terrifying and disheartening moments, like struggling with the question, “How do I define myself if I do not have a job?”

Discover how transition can be a bridge to strength and power in the face of failure or anything that even remotely resembles it! Listen NOW!

Be sure to subscribe to my podcast Destination Unknown at Apple podcasts, Stitcher, or LibSyn.  Do you have an idea for a guest or would you like to join me? Shoot me an email. I would love to hear from you (linda@lindarossetti.com).

Linda Rossetti

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Copyright © 2021 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

Emotions, Vulnerability and Expanding Possibilities

Take a moment to listen to the most recent episode of Destination Unknown, my podcast that explores transition and its expression in our lives. In this episode, I talk with Esther Crawford, CEO of Squad, which was recently acquired by Twitter, about the emotional toll of life’s pivots and the enduring possibilities that emerge from vulnerability. Learn about ‘Day Zero’, the importance of connections, and the promise hidden in letting go of beliefs, ways of being, and those who no longer nourish you. Don’t miss this conversation of hope and expansion! Listen NOW!

 

I would love to hear from you about my podcast, Destination Unknown. The podcast explores transition and its expression in our lives.

Linda Rossetti email me

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Copyright © 2021 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

What We Carry

Have you ever considered what you carry? I am not talking about your handbag or the backpack that is ready to respond at a moment’s notice to all manner of unforeseen encounters. I am talking about what you carry invisibly in your heart. Yours can be virtually anything; a happy achievement, the memory of someone you loved, distant family friction, a devastating event, or an act of kindness. As a society, we carry the devastating loss of the more than two-and-one-half million people who have lost their lives due to COVID-19. This list of what we carry can be long. Have you ever stopped to think about how you carry these things, particularly the not so joyous ones?

This question has captivated me since I started reading, My Blindfold’s Eyes, by missionary Dianna Ortiz. The work chronicles how Dianna, an Ursuline nun, silently carried a difficult truth and how her life changed markedly for the better as she found a way to reframe her relationship with that truth.

Dianna died in February 2021 of cancer after a life dedicated to human rights advocacy. Her ministry emerged after a traumatic experience; she was kidnapped and tortured in Guatemala in 1989 while doing humanitarian work. Her kidnapping was horrific; Dianna was gang raped and repeatedly brutalized by her captors who, come to find out, were funded by the U.S. Government.

The book tells two stories in parallel; her search for justice for herself and the hundreds of thousands of others who have been tortured by corrupt regimes; and the shame she held for so long following the event, a ‘carry’ that left her prone to reliving the torture. Dianna’s shame stemmed from the conflict between her Catholic beliefs and the physical torture she endured. Its influence was relentless. It led to horrendous flash backs and debilitating physical and emotional pain.

While I hope that you never walk anywhere close to Dianna’s traumatic experiences, I wonder about the influence of what each of us may be carrying.

Her story helped me rethink some of my own carry. Not too long ago, I worked for a very powerful boss. My role at the time was – in essence – to make him successful. During  a particularly challenging period, I thought about quitting on and off for months. One day as I sat in his office, I up and quit. I had not rehearsed that day as ‘the day’, but something pushed me over the edge.  I remember relating the news to my spouse that evening. He cheered. ‘When is your last day?’ he asked optimistically.

I did not have one. My surprise announcement caught my boss off guard. He asked for time. We agreed to reconvene at a later date to discuss details.

It took three weeks for that meeting to occur. Once there, he pretended as if my earlier resignation never happened. He wanted to control the story of my departure. I was speechless. One thing was very clear; my dedication to his success would exact one more toll. He asked me to forfeit my voice in return for a hefty severance package.

The shame I carry is different from Dianna’s. It does not have to do with the details of his story; it rests on my complicity in silencing my voice.

Like Dianna, I could not see the price of my forfeiture. For a long time I wondered why I didn’t walk out at the sheer mention of his plan and deny his rendering of the truth. His truth, you see, undermined something I fought to establish my entire career, my voice.

While my story is no where near the tragedy of Dianne’s experience, we share an important understanding. What we carry – regardless of its origin – influences our truth, our light.

In the initial years following Dianna’s abduction, she could not get her balance. Her flashbacks were severe, triggered by small things like the smell of cigarettes or a uniformed police officer.  In the space between these occurrences, shame emerged, took shape, and rooted itself in her persona. The beauty in reading Dianna’s story is that shame was not the through line. She learned to release it. Her story was about hope and forgiveness and possibility. This expanded story more than filled the void once created by what her captors took from her.

My wish for you today is that you consider the influence of whatever you carry and, instead of adopting its heaviness or heartache, welcome the possibility that may reside in changing your relationship to it.

RIP Dianna. Thank you for what you carried for us all!

Linda Rossetti email me

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If you have another minute, listen to my latest podcast, Emotions, Vulnerability and Expanding Possibilities. I talk with Esther Crawford, CEO of Squad, a recent purchase by Twitter, about the emotional toll of life’s pivots and the beauty that emerges from them. A great 12 minute investment! Listen NOW.

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Copyright © 2021 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

Growing through Transition

Join me in talking with Stacey Freeman, an entrepreneur and life-change veteran, on the latest episode of my podcast, Destination Unknown.

Discover how Stacey’s divorce catapulted her from being a stay-at-home mom with two kids to an entrepreneur with a new outlook on life. We talk about facing naysayers, growing beyond self-doubt, and navigating the emotions that accompany transition.

Learn how periods of anxiety and mourning can become cornerstones for renewed thinking and reinvention. Don’t miss this 12-minute episode. Listen NOW.

Take a moment to subscribe to Destination Unknown wherever you get your podcasts! Here are some handy links: Stitcher, Libsyn, Apple Podcasts!

 

 

 

Copyright © 2021 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

Reclaiming Our Stories

What lens do you use for the stories you tell about yourself? Is it a hopeful one? Ambitious? Deficit-laden?  My thinking on our stories got a reboot this past weekend thanks to a call from a dear friend, Marielle.  I am not talking about the stories we use when we introduce ourselves for the first time nor the ones we rely on when a loved one calls for a full update on a recent drama. I am talking about the stories we tell ourselves. The quiet ones that we may never say out loud.  Have you ever stopped to listen to the through line of that story? Let alone questioned its validity?

Linda working on her story, Book II

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Is it time?

Are the ready to make a change in ’21?  Transition may be more in line with what you need. Listen to my latest podcast, Choosing Transition, for a new way to think about the strategies you’ve always relied upon to keep going.

I talk with Sheree Clark, midlife courage coach, who had the temerity to act when a numbed-out feeling kept too much of her hidden – her energy, creativity, and infectious spirit.

Is it your time too? Listen NOW or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. It’s only 12-minutes. Very worth your time!

 

Are you not familiar with my podcast? Destination Unknown explores transition and its expression in our lives. Every episode I talk with people about their transitions; the fear, the struggles, and the incredible surprises. I’ve had the great pleasure of talking with NPR personality Tess Vigeland, Nobel Laureate Ouided Bouchamaoui,  multi-transplant recipient Mark Black, and many many others about their enlivening and hopeful transition.  Subscribe now!

 

Copyright © 2021 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

Now What?

Are you waiting for a ‘fix’ that will settle our uncertain time?  We stand at the dawn of a new year, a new administration, and the widespread dissemination of vaccines that have the power to curtail a deadly global virus. But we are hardly on solid ground. People are dying every day in numbers that exceed the death toll of our most devastating wars, more than 85 million Americans report difficulty in meeting basic economic needs, an angry vocal minority believe that the 2020 presidential election was stolen, and tens of millions of Americans feel left out – excluded from reliable healthcare, equal opportunity, and the comfort knowing they can drive risk-free to get a gallon of milk.  What could possibly be a fix in all of this? The answer may surprise you…. Continue reading

Beginning with you

I have a gift for you today. It honors 2020 and invites you to something important in 2021. It finally dawned on me this morning; as I toggled between preparing altered holiday traditions and readying myself for the year ahead. Before telling you what it is, I have to admit I am feeling a bit like the father in the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. You may know the character. He is prone to saying that every word has a Greek root. In my case it is transition. I see transition everywhere although I stop short of squirting Windex on all surfaces. Transition’s lens into this moment offers something important. You won’t want to miss it for one simple reason. It leads me to you.

Let me start by acknowledging the sorrowful statistics that characterize 2020; they equate the number of U.S. lives lost in the pandemic to those lost on the battle fields in World War II (Test of our Lifetimes, Kristof, NYT, 12/11/20). For many, these losses are close to home. For others, they take a different form; like a reduced or eliminated paycheck, the absence of close social connections, the continued scourge of hateful discrimination, and more.

Amidst all this heartache, 2020 gave us a rare chance. We glimpsed ourselves in silence, without the shields that can block us from the sun. These moments occurred as we suspended activities that once filled our days. Some were activities that fueled our spirits. Other were activities hoisted upon us by the expectations of others.

What did you see in those moments? How did you fill your time? What did you dream about?

Transition is a process that invites each of us to make authentic connections to ourselves.

In 2021, transition invites you to reach for who you are.  Be informed by the silence and take steps in your own direction. If you do, I can guarantee that you will open yourself up to a richness beyond measure. It sounds so self- aggrandizing. It is the exact opposite. Transition occurs when ‘who we are’ and ‘how we make meaning in the world’ shifts. Society loves us to believe that those shifts have to do with a new job or a stunning achievement. It can involve all of that. But what it always involves is a shift away from expectations of ourselves set by others, and towards expectations of ourselves set by us. Those willing to lead with ‘who they are’ unlock their voices, a force in all of us whose power and energy is capable of changing the world.

To honor those we have lost in 2020, I share the recipe below as my gift. It is from a very special person, Mrs. V., whom we lost to the pandemic. She was my next door neighbor growing up. Every Christmas night, Mrs. V. would invite the neighborhood for dessert, an event for which she baked for weeks. I remember vividly her delight as my father graciously sampled each and every dessert. Today I thank her for her willingness to share who she was with all of us.

TEXAS Sheet Cake, circa 1970: 

  1. Combine 2 c sugar, 2 c flour and 1/2 tsp salt. Set aside. In a saucepan, bring to a boil 2 sticks butter, 1 cup water, 4 Tbsp Hershey cocoa unsweetened. Beat two eggs, add to the saucepan mixture. Add 1/2 sour cream, 1 tsp vanilla, 1 tsp baking soda.  Add saucepan mixture to the dry ingredients. Pour into a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Cook at 400 degrees F for 20 minutes.
  2. While cooking, bring to a boil 1 stick of butter, 4 Tbsp cocoa, 6 Tbsp of milk, 1 box of confectionery sugar (approx. 3.5 cups), and 1 tsp vanilla.  Pour over warm cake and let sit. Cut into squares before serving.

 

May you welcome 2021 and throughout it be willing to let others see all that is you. One thing I know for sure, a grateful world awaits all that you choose to share.

Warmest wishes for a safe and happy holiday season.

Linda R.

p.s. email address is linda@lindarossetti.com (tough last name: 2 s’s and 2 t’s). 

 

 

 

Copyright © 2020 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

The Wisdom of You

On my way into the supermarket yesterday, I ran into a friend whom I have not seen in eight months.  Masked, we nearly walked right by one another. Once we realized our error, we stood talking six feet apart while others slalomed around us with their carriages. Oddly, we had very little to say. Once we said our good-byes, I went inside feeling funny.  Was it sadness? Disappointment? Or something else?  Strength?  I turned to transition for some needed perspective. Days later, I am still surprised by where this reflection led me….

Safeway, San Francisco, CA

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You and This Moment

Have you seen yourself lately? Before you think you opened the wrong blog post, I want to be clear. I am not talking about your physical appearance nor am I am shaming you for the color of your roots or even for the pallor you’ve begun to exhibit after untold hours facilitating Zoom-athons for you and every member of your household. The glimpse I am referring to is something we might not regard in the normal course. It is a version of you that intersects with the pandemic in a unique way, one that reminds me that amidst the devastation of our time there may also be something powerful and profound.

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