Tag Archives: women in transition

Smiling from the Heart

Have you seen it? It’s all over the media. I feel as if I have run into it at every turn since August 11, 2020, the day candidate Joe Biden announced his vice presidential running mate, Senator Kamala Harris. It is the smile. The smile I am referring to has nothing to do with physicality or facial features. It is a smile that emanates from deep within and is sought after by nearly all those who explore transition. This type of smile is available only to those who choose to occupy a special space; one where our truest expectations for ourselves are set, met and – dare I say – exceeded.  These smiles emanate from the heart. Have you ever smiled from your heart?

Senator Kamala Harris accepting Democratic Party’s Vice Presidential Nomination 8/19/2020

My research and work in transition over the past decade offers me a unique lens into smiles and our expectations for ourselves.

Transitioning is an incredible transformative process that invites us to lead with our voices. Not the voice overs of others who are quick to tell us what we ‘should’ or ‘could’ do. Our voices are the ones that are fueled by what holds value and meaning to us. These voices are effervescent. True. Unbounded.

These voices are our greatest asset.

Not every voice will take the stage at a national convention. Voice is individual. Your truest voice may be expressed through running a global company or sitting silently next to a friend in mourning. It doesn’t matter what your voice’s expression is. That you express it is non-negotiable.

There is another more fundamental role for our voices that we often overlook. Our voices serve as conduits for our connection to ourselves and to humanity.

As we transition, we shift our voice’s expression and the expectations we set for ourselves. These shifts are different for everyone. Sometimes these shifts scare the life out of us. After all, turning up the volume on our voices can mean moving away from a career that once held great promise for us; or finally addressing the negativity in a relationship that is long past its useful life.

Last week, I interviewed June Angelides for my podcast, Destination Unknown. She reminded me about a step we sometimes miss as our voices shift to become our own.  She said,  “I need to figure out how to let others understand the expanded me.” Those closest to her didn’t recognize some of her shifts. This put something important on her to do list. “I need to help those around me get acquainted with the new me.”

As I watched Kamala Harris’s husband, Doug Emhoff, take the stage with her, I was reminded of June’s words.  Kamala’s smile told me that those around her had made the journey June described.  Not only were they acquainted with her voice, they celebrated it.

Vice Presidential Candidate, Senator Kamala Harris, and Husband, Doug Emhoff

As this unsettled summer crawls to Labor Day, I hope you take a moment to think about your voice and your ability to smile from the heart.  Can we hear your voice? Are those around you cheering for it?

My wish for your is that you greet your voice with love and curiosity, and that those around you embrace the fullness of who you are.

Stay safe and well.

Linda R. (linda@WomenAndTransition.com)

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Copyright © 2020 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

A new twist on being seen

What does it mean to you to be seen? At first glance, ‘being seen’ might make you think about your presence or absence at something important. Were you at the right meeting? The right party? The right moment? What you recognize as ‘being seen’ will differ from what I recognize. That said, I am not sure this type of ‘being seen’ really captures it. What if ‘being seen’ is being acknowledged or affirmed for who you really are? Or even better. What if being seen is really about our willingness to be seen? Not the person you are supposed to be at work or at home or at the PTA meeting….You. Your essence. Your truth. How visible are you? Are you willing to be seen?

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My struggle with kindness

Do you practice kindness?  I know it sounds pretty odd but this whole kindness business is getting under my skin.  The reason is really simple. I’ve witnessed time and again an unintended consequence of kindness that I find damaging, particularly to women. Let me explain. Have you ever caught yourself resorting to kindness when you would rather rage at something or someone?  Don’t get me wrong. I’m not arguing for reckless confrontation. But this conflict – the intersection of kindness and authenticity – has me wondering.  Is kindness becoming a new modern day requirement, another expectation that is layered upon us like a cloak gently silencing our voices? Continue reading

Must Have’s For Our Stories

Michele Obama @ Boston’s TD Garden

Have you ever felt like a kid in a candy store? That is the only way I can describe how I felt last Saturday evening. A friend and I went to the Boston stop of Michele Obama’s book tour. She was herself. Radiant. Engaging. Choreographed, but invisibly so. She shared stories of hope and anger and frustration and love. My guess is that her words touched me differently than those who sat around me. You see, without knowing it, Mrs. Obama described transitioning. The process helped her discover more and more about those things that hold value and meaning to her. To her delight, those things then became the cornerstone of her work and of who she is. This pivot, her becoming, initiated even more growth. Transitioning enables growth. Yeah transitioning! I left there smiling and with an exciting new goal: to interview her! All suggestions on how to make this happen would be greatly appreciated, BTW

Over the course of the evening, Mrs. Obama made it a point to talk about the stories we tell ourselves. Our own narratives. Her topic gave me a terrific idea for a pre-holiday blog, a primer on storytelling. Continue reading

Cancer: Driven to Distraction

She is fighting back tears. Something is the matter. Her adult daughter is spinning around the lobby trying to architect some semblance of normalcy.  I learn from a few abbreviated sentences that the day’s plans have changed. I was there to accompany one of my dearest friends for her final chemo treatment. The infusion has been postponed. Her body isn’t ready. It needs a little more time. She apologizes to me for coming so far, for nothing. I am amazed at this positioning and am now even happier that I came.  I drive her home. She exhales in the car. It is in our conversation there that I am given a huge gift. My task is simple. To try to understand it. Continue reading

Unlived Lives

This couldn’t possibly be all there is.   It was a sentiment I used to describe the work world I inhabited prior to my transition.  I grappled with the sentiment as I faced what I now describe as my unraveling.   This inelegant moment occurred when I hit the pause button on a more than twenty-year six-day-a-week commitment to my career.  I recall this moment every time someone asks me what inspired me to write Women & Transition: Reinventing Work and Life.  How can I describe that moment?  I’d spent years rising – achieving – Harvard MBA, start-up ceo, Fortune 500 c-suite insider.  But the overwhelming sentiment I had at the time was – this is it? 

My pause wasn’t a retreat.  It was a conscious act and a belief that something MORE was possible.   I found that the top of the corporate hierarchy world wasn’t enough to engage ME.   For me it had to have bigger meaning – a deeper connection to who I was.   But what – exactly?

 

Transition's Positive Attributes from Rossetti's Research

Transition’s Positive Sentiments taken from Linda’s upcoming book

I often struggle with how to describe that moment.  The goal or work image that had captivated so much of my attention for decades was ringing hollow.   This realization occurred in parallel to the exploding demands of my personal life.  I’d had two children right around my 40th birthday.   By 45 I was at this intersection…wondering.

Thankfully I had the presence of mind to do two things:  I reached out to women and I really listened to what they were saying.   What I heard captivated my soul.

One thing I heard was a commonality of experiences among these women despite the differences they voiced.   They talked about welcoming another child, or remarriage, or divorce, or job loss or career change or going back to school or an empty nest or a geographic move.  And on and on. What fascinated me was how readily these women truncated their experiences into buckets.  Creating walls.

As I listened I heard something else entirely.  I heard common patterns across all of these events.  Few of us – including myself at that moment – knew that each of these events had the potential to initiate a transition.   I had a growing suspicion that we were all missing something important…..

Last Thursday I spent an hour with a dozen women.  I talked about my upcoming book but more importantly I shared with them some basics about transition.  A framework.  Some vocabulary.  A process.  Stories from other women.  This primer offered them a lens into a new way of thinking about the events that shape their adult lives.  Instead of feelings of failure or self-doubt or inadequacy that too often accompany these events these women immediately saw how this knowledge made room for inspiration and empowerment and clarity.  What is the old adage?  With knowledge, power.

One woman came up to me and hugged me after the presentation.  She was thoroughly engaged with my message and its promise for her and for all women.  I was so thankful for her kindness.

An understanding of transition – at its best – can give us the sight lines into the unknown and the confidence to pursue the lives we only dare imagine.

Can transition be the key to exploring what MORE there is for you?

 

Copyright © 2015 NovoFemina.com.  All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

 

Time and Transition

Where do you invest your time?  Seems like an overly simplistic question doesn’t it?   Time.  I am in a zone where every minute matters so I am regularly thinking about time.  Does your time allocation say anything about where you are in your transition? Continue reading