Rethinking Enough

I was asked to make a 2019 wish on behalf of all the listeners of Feminine Foresight, a podcast for which I was recently interviewed.  My response was simple. I wished that we could all re-imagine ‘enough.’  Are you enough?  Maybe you haven’t thought about the question in quite that way before. Even so, I am fairly certain that you have experience with it or one of its popular cousins. Are you smart enough? Talented enough? Connected enough? Slim enough? Fit enough? Attractive enough? Kind enough? Driven enough? Supportive enough? Good enough? Happy enough? Tough enough? Successful enough? Present enough?  Loved enough? Loving enough? My personal favorite – in case you are wondering – hails from the good enough arena. Will I ever be good enough? Or more precisely, will my work ever be good enough? My interviewer’s question made me realize that I’ve had enough of all this. Have you ever wondered what might be awaiting for you on the other side of enough?

Weekend reading for Book #2!

Transition offers us a new lens into enough. In fact, our transition literacy gives us the ability to re-architect our response to enough, a pivot that is critical to unlocking the incredible potential that is resident in each of us.

This re-architecting business is very straightforward. There are only two steps required.

First, we need to bring our awareness to ‘enough.’ We need to recognize it. Dignify it. Welcome it? Withhold judgment. Enough statements themselves aren’t good or bad, they are simply statements.  ‘I see you,’ is all we need to say.

Second, we need to think about enough’s presence and what we can learn from it. Why might enough be here – now, in this time? What could its presence be highlighting for us? Or diverting us from?

Somedays this two-step process is easier said than done. First step, my good enough narrative feels as if it is always with me but just beyond my field of vision. It isn’t easy bringing my awareness to its presence. Sometimes I hardly recognize it at all. For example, I am fairly certain that good enough drives my enormous never-ending work ‘to do’ list which this past weekend included the above pictured ‘weekend reading.’ You see, I read extensively to understand the work of other experts and their work’s intersection with my own. Why?  Good enough wonders if my work truly grasps the topic. Could my work possibly be good enough on its own?

The even trickier – and downright scary – step lies in what I might learn from good enough’s presence. Is it telling me something about the value I am willing to attribute to my work?  This question brings me to uncomfortable places like a memory of being shamed as a young person for my intelligence.  Even in my own home I recall being told, “Don’t make so-and-so feel badly…” This upended logic diverted me from drawing attention to my capabilities because it might make someone else feel badly.

What is good enough diverting me from? 

I love the newness of this question. This question – my question – illustrates perfectly the value in re-architecting our response to enough. It helps us bring a beginner’s mind to something that has been staring at us for a while. A beginner’s mind is a Buddhist term that refers to having an attitude of openness, eagerness, and lack of preconceptions when studying a subject.

The questions we are willing to ask ourselves lead to exploration which in turn makes it easier for us to see imagined and unimagined possibilities for ourselves. Unlocking these possibilities is the promise of transitioning.

Let’s face it, I could never have asked myself the ‘diverting’ question when I started my transition almost six years ago. At that time, the biggest question on my mind was where to find my next job. Yes, this two-step enough exercise can be powerful and tricky and difficult but it is part of a larger toolkit of transition that helped unlock an energy and an expectancy in me that I never dreamed possible.

We all have an opportunity to realize extraordinary untapped potential. We won’t get to it by chance.  It takes choice. We have to choose transitioning as the bridge to get us there. The choice is ours.

Next time you hear yourself grappling with enough, take a moment to wonder what might be on the other side of it for you.

May you look courageously at all that you are and know that regardless of where you’ve been to date, enormous untapped potential resides inside of you. Will you choose to go meet it?  Or, have you had enough?

Linda R. (linda@WomenAndTransition.com)

 

***************************************************************************Got another minute? Listen to this week’s podcast!

Ever wonder what might happen if you suddenly lost your job? Join me for Destination Unknown: a field guide’s Episode 3 (available on iTunes).  Brandy Faven, a Life Transition Coach for Women, navigated job loss, divorce and sobriety to embrace an incredibly renewed sense of self. Brandy used the opportunity of her loss to make time in her life for a powerful interest that had been simmering on the sidelines for quite some time.  It was scary. She needed to pay the bills. She talks about two important accelerators for her: her narratives and the role of our instincts.

Take fifteen minutes to listen. I guarantee you will leave the episode with new thinking about yourself and what lies ahead for you.

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Copyright © 2019 Linda Rossetti & NovoFemina.com. All rights reserved. No content on this site may be reused in any fashion without written permission from NovoFemina.com.

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