Tag Archives: transitions

The shame of should

A grad school classmate of mine and I were at dinner last week with another friend, Tricia, who had an undergraduate degree from UPenn.   Tricia mentioned that she’d recently attended an informal get together for women from her graduating class.  She’s been out of school just over twenty years.  “Shame” she offered in summary of the get together – immediately capturing our full attention.   “Many women weren’t doing anything because they were ashamed that they hadn’t done more since leaving school.”   I understood her remarks to mean that negative self judgment played an enormous role for many of these women.  It impacted their choices and their beliefs about success or failure because they hadn’t done what they ‘should’ have done.   Wow.  This discussion left me wondering, what role shame?   Continue reading

The courage of questions…

“What are you getting out of it?” asked a Focus Group participant rhetorically.    “It’s like….you got a paycheck, you got investments or whatever it was.  But in the big scheme of things you just look at what matters.  And that shifts over time.  Based on where you are in your life.”  Eight ladies were discussing their transitions.  Each person at the table was at a different place.  Kids.  No kids.  Recently married.  Divorced.  Budding entrepreneur.  Teetering financial stability.  Regardless of their personal circumstances everyone had gotten to the same spot.  Questions.  About themselves, their passions.  What  questions are you asking yourself? Continue reading