Tag Archives: women’s voices

Resolutions

“Can I finally start?”  It was a question that popped into my head unwittingly as I sat in my office last week.  I was trying to shake off the exhaustion from the holidays and begin an avalanche of work that I’d queued up for the New Year.  Start what?   In acknowledging the question, I felt as if I was on the edge of tears.  It took only an instant for this feeling to pass.  Even so I realized I’d crossed an important milestone for my transition, one that makes me think about New Year’s Resolutions and new beginnings a little differently. Continue reading

How we engage others

“You’ll be one of the best next year,” offered my son. Unprompted.  He is eleven.  We were in the kitchen.  It was Sunday three weeks ago.  I’d just decided to not participate in a sprint triathlon, an event for which I’d been training for months.   A quirky injury sidelined me.  I was crushed.    In the grand scheme of things this was minor – hardly a blip.   If I was still pre-transition, I would have simply gone on that day and not said a word about it to anyone.  Instead, my transition inspired me to give voice to my disappointment.  I was struck by my son’s humanity and emotional intelligence.  Our typical exchanges are single words conveyed over an electronic device.   His pivot made me reflect on how much of myself I can bring to interactions with others.   It is my choice just like it was his.  I can mimic the sentiment of his single word responses or his deft comment.  How much of my voice do I choose to engage? Continue reading

Knowing

“I don’t know,” said my twelve-year-old daughter earlier this week in response to a benign question I asked her about choosing a movie.  Her tone was light-hearted if not a little distracted.  My heart fell as I listened to her response.  How could she not know?  I hoped we’d avoid this unknowing if only for a few more years.  Have you ever heard yourself say a similar statement?  I don’t know. Continue reading

Invisible Standards

“We need your voice,” I said in closing a workshop with about a dozen women on a Saturday in early September.  I was making a connection between an exercise we’d done on developing our own voices and the needs of our national economy.  I view the development & expression of women’s voices as fundamental to our country’s long-term economic well-being.   For me it’s an easy and obvious linkage – although I won’t bore you with the details here.  What surprised me in that Saturday moment was the reaction I got.  The attendees were honestly touched.  My comment seemed to elevate our work.  It connected every one of us to something greater.  Our voice work was instantly relevant.  Meaningful. Continue reading

Choice or Compromise?

I’ll never forget an interview I did for my book….. One afternoon a mid-forties woman who had three sons joined me for coffee in an artsy bakery in Pasadena, CA.  She agreed to talk with me about her transition, triggered by an empty nest.  Shortly after we began we unexpectedly turned our focus to an earlier transition, her decision to leave the workforce.  She offered, “there was a lot of pressure on me to buy into the concept of being a full-time mother.” Her husband and her in-laws voiced strong opposition to her continuing to work. Financially she and her husband thought they could get by on one salary. Neither of her own parents were living.   She said of her experience, “I was the guilty party for wanting to pursue my work. It was a particularly difficult time.” Continue reading